{"id":12150,"date":"2012-11-30T22:38:37","date_gmt":"2012-12-01T06:38:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/barbarafalconernewhall.com\/?p=12150"},"modified":"2012-11-30T22:38:37","modified_gmt":"2012-12-01T06:38:37","slug":"im-the-mother-of-the-groom-now-what-do-i-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/im-the-mother-of-the-groom-now-what-do-i-do\/","title":{"rendered":"I\u2019m the Mother of the Groom \u2013 Now What Do I Do?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Bride<\/a>
The bride-to-be tried on my wedding dress. And, yes, that’s a photo of me wearing it on my wedding day. Photo by BF Newhall<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

By Barbara Falconer Newhall<\/em><\/p>\n

My son Peter proposed. His girlfriend said yes. They set a date. Her mom and dad are delighted. Jon and I are delighted.<\/p>\n

Now what do I do?<\/p>\n

Aside from hosting the rehearsal dinner and showing up on the wedding day in a dress that is neither black nor white, that obscures the multiple necks and iffy upper arms and yet still manages to be pretty \u2013 what\u2019s the mother of the groom supposed to do?<\/p>\n

I asked the sweaty ladies at my Zumba class.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot much,\u201d said one with a rueful smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cAvoid having opinions,\u201d said another, zipping her lips.<\/p>\n

\"1977<\/a>
I hadn’t opened the box containing my wedding dress since I sent the dress off to the cleaners in 1977. Photo by Jon Newhall<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

There\u2019s got to be something I can do to help with the wedding plans.<\/p>\n

But what?<\/p>\n

Won\u2019t the bride be needing a wedding dress, for example?<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve got a wedding dress.<\/p>\n

\"Bride-to-be
The bride-to-be gets a little help from her future sister-in-law. Photos by BF Newhall<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

It\u2019s pretty. It\u2019s lacy. It\u2019s creamy ivory. It\u2019s got a flattering empire waist and just a hint of a train. It\u2019s been worn only once \u2013 by me, on the day I married Jon thirty-five years ago.<\/p>\n

I know what you\u2019re thinking: Even if my vintage 1977 dress were to fit the bride, odds are it wouldn\u2019t fit her sensibilities.<\/p>\n

And you would be right. There’s a biggish taste gap going on here. \u00a0My wedding dress was detailed and traditional. My daughter-in-law\u00a0likes sleek and mid-century modern.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s also this to consider: How would Peter feel about seeing his bride come down the aisle in his mother\u2019s wedding gown?<\/p>\n

Still, I can\u2019t help thinking about that dress.<\/p>\n

\"Bride<\/a>
It fits . . . sorta.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

It\u2019s been hidden away in a fancy storage box high on a dusty shelf for thirty-five years now without anyone to enjoy it.<\/p>\n

I last saw my wedding gown when I sent it off to be cleaned a few days after Jon and I returned from our honeymoon. It came back in an airtight “Keepsake Pak” sealed with plastic sheeting and heavy duty tape.<\/p>\n

I never looked inside.<\/p>\n

Isn\u2019t it time I opened that box and took a look?<\/p>\n

And wouldn\u2019t it be a kick if\u00a0 Peter\u2019s fianc\u00e9e could be there when I did?<\/p>\n

\"Daughter<\/a>
My daughter gave the wedding dress a try. No luck. Maybe it will fit one of the granddaughters.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Yes, it would.<\/p>\n

And so, on the Monday after Thanksgiving \u2013 just before Peter and his fianc\u00e9e departed for San Francisco International and the Midwest, and just before our daughter Christina drove off to Southern California \u2013 fianc\u00e9e, daughter and I gathered around the box and opened it up.<\/p>\n

And there it was. My wedding dress, visible through a plastic window, stuffed with tissue paper and looking as fresh and perky as the day my father handed me over to Jon.<\/p>\n

The three of us took the dress upstairs to a bedroom and closed the door. Peter\u2019s bride slipped the dress over her head. Christina zipped her into it.<\/p>\n

It didn\u2019t fit, of course. But my daughter-in-law-to-be looked beautiful in it. Creamy and traditional and beautiful.<\/p>\n

We laughed. We took pictures.<\/p>\n

This was fun. Having this new person in the family was going to be fun.<\/p>\n

Maybe that\u2019s what the mother of the groom is supposed to do — enjoy her new daughter-in-law.<\/p>\n

For more on being a mother-in-law-to-be, go to “I’m Thankful for a Clean Oven, Fresh Ice Cubes . . . and a Daughter-in-law-to-Be.”<\/a>\u00a0 And for a story about my own mother, see “Write About My Aging Mother? I Don’t Think So.”<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

Since writing this, I’ve posted lots of stories about the wedding preparations and the wedding itself. To see those, go to “They Did It! They Got Married.”<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\"Bride<\/a><\/p>\n

Aside from hosting the rehearsal dinner and showing up on the wedding day in a dress that is neither black nor white, one that obscures the multiple necks and iffy upper arms yet still manages to be pretty \u2013 what\u2019s the mother of the groom supposed to do? Read More.<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":12229,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[30],"tags":[834,34,835,82,836,837,838,839,840],"class_list":["post-12150","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-my-changing-family","tag-daughter-in-law","tag-dont-miss","tag-mother-of-the-groom","tag-on-the-funny-side","tag-sons-fiancee","tag-vintage-1977-wedding-gown","tag-wedding-dresses","tag-wedding-planning","tag-your-mothers-wedding-dress"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12150","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12150"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12150\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12150"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12150"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12150"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}