- \n
![\"A](\"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/fallen-oak-limb-580x387-500x334.jpg\" "\\"live-oak-tree-with-fallen-limb-san-francisco-bay-area-CA\\"")
<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ol>\nImpermanence. It’s a helpful, if not always comfortable, idea. Everything changes. It just does.<\/p>\n
Sometimes change is a good thing:<\/p>\n
- \n
- My son Peter is engaged to be married. He’s not my cute little kid anymore. He\u2019s a grown man in the process of creating a family of his own, and I\u2019m glad for him.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
At other times, the change is nothing but painful:<\/p>\n
- \n
- My Aunt Grace<\/a> died last month. She just did. There was no stopping her.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
- \n
- An oak tree in the canyon below our house split in half a year or two ago. Thirty feet of living, striving branches and twigs fell downhill.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
- \n
- A cherished rural landscape in Michigan \u2013 near my father\u2019s 1912 birthplace \u2013 has been transformed by a field of steely, towering wind turbines. Fifty-six of them. Each one 312 feet high.<\/li>\n
- I don’t have a job to go to every day. I miss the noise and hubbub and interesting people — my colleagues — in the newsroom.<\/li>\n
- Same goes for the wonderful women — the other moms — I’d see on a daily basis at my kids’ schools and on the sidelines at a soccer game.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
I\u2019m trying not to grasp. I’m trying to let go here. I’m trying to accept that:<\/p>\n
- \n
- Yes, the precious 2-year-old, 5-year-old, 13-year-old Peter is no more.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
- \n
- No, I can\u2019t have my Aunt Grace back.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
- \n
- Yes, that live oak is half the tree it used to be.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
- \n
- And yes, the powers that be have had their way in Mason county, Michigan. All 56 turbines are rotating right now<\/a>\u00a0 at the “Lake Winds Energy Park,” like it or not.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
- \n
- And, no, it\u2019s not 1912 anymore, 1912 is gone forever.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.azocleantech.com\/images\/news\/NewsImage_13434.jpg\" "\\"lake-winds-energy-park-michigan\\"")
<\/a><\/p>\nAnd so, I\u2019m sitting here in my writing room in 2013 trying to remind \u2013 convince \u2013 myself that indeed there\u2019s a good side to this impermanence thing.<\/p>\n
The logic, my Buddhist friends tell me, goes like this. If all things are impermanent, that means we humans are impermanent as well. We don\u2019t have to stay stuck in the same-old-same-old.<\/p>\n
Photo: consumerenergy.com<\/em><\/p>\n
We can change. We really can. We have that choice.<\/p>\n
Zen teacher and executive coach Marc Lesser makes this point in his new book, Know Yourself, Forget Yourself<\/em>. He talks about impermanence this way:<\/p>\n
Sometimes we get trapped by the stories we tell about ourselves, or by our interpretation of what past events mean. These stories create a ripple effect; if we believe them to be true, then we are influenced to live them out. But we don\u2019t have to do that. If it\u2019s true that we are afraid to speak in public, do we explain it by pointing to some humiliating event in childhood? Is that the story of our shyness? More to the point, do we use that story today to hold ourselves back? If so, then we need to work to rewrite this story. Nothing is set in stone.<\/p>\n
Lesser goes on to say that he has nothing against stories. \u201cWe speak and think and feel in the language of stories,\u201d he writes.<\/p>\n
But he recommends letting go of the unhelpful stories we keep on telling ourselves.<\/p>\n
Utilize your stories, he says. Don\u2019t be pushed around by them. Jettison the ones that get in your way, especially the ones that say you have a fixed self that cannot be changed.<\/p>\n
![\"A](\"http:\/\/barbarafalconernewhall.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/fallen-oak-limb-w-flower-tree-vert-color-fixed-391x580-337x500.jpg\" "\\"live-oak-and-flowering-tree\\"")
<\/a>A limb split from a live oak tree in our canyon during a storm. Photo by Barbara Newhall<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n Lesser describes a married couple who sat down to do a little retirement planning. They gathered a wealth of data \u2013 spreadsheets and graphs \u2013 about their financial situation. As they studied it, the husband saw a future full of possibilities and opportunities, the wife saw only risks and pitfalls.<\/p>\n
The couple concluded that, however things worked out for the two of them, the husband was going to be a rich and happy old man, the wife a poor and unhappy old woman.<\/p>\n
Husband and wife were living by differing stories, differing viewpoints, Lesser notes. That can create problems for any two people trying to get along, because \u201cto even entertain the opposing viewpoint can seem to risk our own version of reality, our very self.\u201d<\/p>\n
Sad to say, Lesser adds, most of us tend to be like the wife in the story. \u201cWe are much more inclined to perceive, feel, and cling to negative stories than to positive stories.\u201d<\/p>\n
Which brings us back to impermanence.<\/p>\n
Yes, it\u2019s sad to lose that job, that friend. It\u2019s sad to see the Thanksgiving chrysanthemums fade and the needles fall off the Christmas tree. And that oak tree down in the canyon is a sorry sight indeed \u2013 a skinny shadow of itself.<\/p>\n
But earlier today, when I climbed down the canyon slope to take a closer look, I saw that, yes, the oak tree was greatly diminished.<\/p>\n
But the flowering fruit tree growing behind it was not.<\/p>\n
Three years ago the flowering tree<\/a> was small and cramped and hidden by the more expansive oak.<\/p>\n
But this afternoon the fruit tree was huge. Sprawling. It had burst into the sunny open space left behind by the oak tree. It had filled the sky with a delicate criss-crossing of branches, which were covered with buds \u2013 thousands and thousands of them waiting to change themselves — into blossoms.<\/p>\n
“Know Yourself, Forget Yourself<\/a>: Five Truths to Transform Your Work, Relationships, and Everyday Life<\/em>,” by Marc Lesser<\/a>, New World Library, 2013, $14.95 paper.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
For another post on Buddhism read about Jack Kornfield<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n
If you enjoyed this post and would like to get regular updates, click on the Subscribe, icon at the top of the right hand column. You’ll be notified whenever there is a new post. Enjoy!<\/em><\/p>\n
Meanwhile, I’ve checked out those windmills in Michigan. Read about them and see pictures at “The Windmills of Mason County.”<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n
![\"A](\"http:\/\/barbarafalconernewhall.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/flowering-tree-buds--500x314.jpg\" "\\"flowering-tree-budding-in-california-february\\"")
<\/a><\/p>\n<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
![\"A](\"http:\/\/barbarafalconernewhall.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/fallen-oak-limb-580x387-500x333.jpg\" "\\"live-oak-tree-with-fallen-limb-san-francisco-bay-area-CA\\"")
<\/a><\/p>\nImpermanence. It’s a helpful, if not always comfortable, idea: Everything changes. It just does. My Aunt Grace died last month. My son Peter will be married in May. And 56 wind turbines are now up and running on the pristine rural countryside near my father’s birthplace. Read more.<\/strong><\/em><\/a><\/p>\n
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- And, no, it\u2019s not 1912 anymore, 1912 is gone forever.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
- And yes, the powers that be have had their way in Mason county, Michigan. All 56 turbines are rotating right now<\/a>\u00a0 at the “Lake Winds Energy Park,” like it or not.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
- Yes, that live oak is half the tree it used to be.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
- No, I can\u2019t have my Aunt Grace back.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
- Yes, the precious 2-year-old, 5-year-old, 13-year-old Peter is no more.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
- An oak tree in the canyon below our house split in half a year or two ago. Thirty feet of living, striving branches and twigs fell downhill.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
- My Aunt Grace<\/a> died last month. She just did. There was no stopping her.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
- My son Peter is engaged to be married. He’s not my cute little kid anymore. He\u2019s a grown man in the process of creating a family of his own, and I\u2019m glad for him.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n