{"id":21725,"date":"2015-05-02T00:01:59","date_gmt":"2015-05-02T07:01:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/barbarafalconernewhall.com\/?p=21725"},"modified":"2015-05-02T00:01:59","modified_gmt":"2015-05-02T07:01:59","slug":"telephoning-those-teenage-babysitters-rejected-again","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/telephoning-those-teenage-babysitters-rejected-again\/","title":{"rendered":"Telephoning Those Teenage Babysitters — Rejected Again"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"An<\/a>
One of our 1980s phones. Photo by Barbara Newhall<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Note to readers born since\u00a0the turn of the\u00a0<\/em>century: Back in the olden days, before email, before texting, before Facebook and Twitter, Moms looking for a Saturday night babysitter had to set aside a good chunk of time early in the week to conduct\u00a0the search by\u00a0telephone — aka\u00a0land line. Also, just so you know, back in the twentieth century, there used to be this quaint custom whereby teenage boys would call up teenage girls and ask them for a date.<\/em><\/p>\n

By Barbara Falconer Newhall,\u00a0<\/em>The Oakland Tribune<\/a>, June 21, 1987<\/em><\/p>\n

Jon won\u2019t do it.<\/p>\n

He will make our bed. He will set the breakfast table. He will empty the cat litter box. No problem.<\/p>\n

But, no, he will not call a babysitter for Saturday night.\u00a0Jon argues that it would not look right for a man on the fast track toward middle age to be making telephone calls to dewy 14-year-old females.<\/p>\n

But I know different.<\/p>\n

\"Babysitter<\/a>
Babysitter challenge: Four-year-old Peter in a struggle between good and evil. Photo by Barbara Newhall<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

It is not a refined sensibility that keeps Jon from sitting down at the telephone on a Monday evening to make call after call to the teenage girls of our acquaintance.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s fear.<\/p>\n

Pure, raw fear \u2013 of rejection.<\/p>\n

I was a teenage girl once. I remember well the agony of the telephone that does not ring.<\/p>\n

But I never knew what it was to be a teenage boy until six years ago, a few weeks after baby Peter arrived in our household.<\/p>\n

That was the day I made my first telephone call to a teenage girl requesting her time and attention for a Friday evening \u2013 and got rejected.<\/p>\n

The Babysitter Says No . . .<\/h5>\n

Since then I have been on the receiving end of a variety of interesting excuses.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, I have a flute lesson that day.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, that\u2019s the day I see my geometry tutor.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, that\u2019s the third weekend of the month and I\u2019ll be staying with my dad in Orinda.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, the ski team is going up to Tahoe that weekend.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, that\u2019s the day I help with the turtles at the Lawrence Hall of Science.\u201d<\/p>\n

Like that of the rejected teenage suitor, my self-esteem plummets with each unsuccessful phone call.<\/p>\n

But unlike the teenage boy, I do not give up after one or two calls and hope for better luck next weekend.<\/p>\n

I have to keep calling. The reservations are made for 8 p.m. at the Equinox in Montclair. My hard-working husband is counting on a night out.<\/p>\n

My sanity is counting on a night out.<\/p>\n

Three, five, seven phone calls later I have to wonder why no one is saying yes.<\/p>\n

Is it really a previous commitment to the geometry tutor, the snowy slopes of Lake Tahoe, the turtles at the Lawrence Hall of Science?<\/p>\n

\"Crying<\/a>
Babysitter challenge: Christina at\u00a018-months, distraught in the arms of her\u00a0sitter. I cropped the babysitter out of the photo to protect the innocent. Photo by Barbara Newhall<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
. . . But Why?<\/h5>\n

Or is there something wrong with me and mine?<\/p>\n

Would the babysitter have a better time at our house if Christina<\/a><\/strong> would not collapse at the door in tears when Mommy walks out?<\/p>\n

Would we be more popular if Peter<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0could refrain from greeting his lovely, gentle caretaker with a fistful of good guy and bad guy M.A.S.K. toys dress to kill?<\/p>\n

Would it help if the babysitter did not have to get down on the floor with Peter and his toys and engage in a bloody struggle between good and evil right before dinner?<\/p>\n

Would she like us better if Peter would at least let her play the good guy once in a while?\u2019<\/p>\n

Or is it something other than the kids?<\/p>\n

Is our VCR too complicated? The MTV reception too fuzzy? Is she allergic to cats?<\/p>\n

Maybe it\u2019s the tortilla chips. We could switch to potato. Buy her a six-pack of Diet Coke or Cherry 7-Up.<\/p>\n

Or is it our homemade apple juice popsicles that offend? Should we invest in a pint of H\u00e4agen-Dazs the next time she comes over?<\/p>\n

Are we staying out too late? Coming home too early?<\/p>\n

Sexy Reading Material?<\/h5>\n

Maybe it\u2019s the reading material. Do teenage girls still read Seventeen magazine? Or would they prefer an evening with Cosmo?<\/p>\n

Should I leave a few Sweet Valley High romances lying on the coffee table? A sex manual?<\/p>\n

(When I was a teenager in the Midwest, a sex education was acquired, not in the school and not in the home \u2013 but in a neighbor\u2019s library, between the time the children went to bed and the parents came home.)<\/p>\n

At any given time, we do have one or two babysitters we can [sometimes] count on to say yes when we call.<\/p>\n

Right now, there is Lorah and Jennifer. A few years ago it was Stacy and Dana. And before that, Julie and Jody.<\/p>\n

A good babysitter lasts about three years, it seems, from seventh grade to ninth.<\/p>\n

After that \u2013 no matter how much she adores sweet Christina and fearsome Peter. No matter how much we pay her. No matter how many bags of chips and leftover Easter candy we leave lying around, we inevitably lose our favorite babysitter.<\/p>\n

She turns 15. She grows up. Her attention strays from the turtles and the flute lessons.<\/p>\n

When I call her on a Monday night, she has inevitably said yes to someone else for Saturday night.<\/p>\n

One of those teenage boys.<\/p>\n

\u00a9 The Oakland Tribune.<\/a> Reprinted by permission.<\/em><\/p>\n

If you enjoyed this story, you might like “Feng Shui Tips for the Writing Room and the Bedroom — Your Mother’s Not Allowed, and Neither Are the Kids.”<\/a>\u00a0 Also, “For China’s Young Fashionistas, the Cultural Revolution Is So Over.”<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\"An<\/a><\/p>\n

What did teenage boys and moms in need of a babysitter have in common back in the day? They had to call up teenage girls. Read more.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":21765,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[30],"tags":[1449,34,1450,55,81,82,1451,1452,1035,1453],"class_list":["post-21725","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-my-changing-family","tag-babysitters","tag-dont-miss","tag-land-lines","tag-family-stories","tag-oakland-tribune","tag-on-the-funny-side","tag-teenage-babysitters","tag-teenaged-girls","tag-teenagers","tag-telephones"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21725","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21725"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21725\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21725"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21725"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21725"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}