{"id":990,"date":"2009-04-20T00:44:31","date_gmt":"2009-04-20T07:44:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/barbarafalconernewhall.com\/?p=990"},"modified":"2009-04-20T00:44:31","modified_gmt":"2009-04-20T07:44:31","slug":"a-case-of-the-human-condition-when-your-six-year-old-wants-to-talk-money","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/a-case-of-the-human-condition-when-your-six-year-old-wants-to-talk-money\/","title":{"rendered":"A Case of the Human Condition: When Your Six-Year-Old Wants to Talk Money"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"A<\/a>
Six-year-old Peter was a cowboy for Halloween. Another six-year-old we know tried to sell his Halloween candy to his mother for $30. Photo by Barbara Newhall<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

By Barbara Falconer Newhall<\/em><\/p>\n

The <\/em>Oakland Tribune<\/em>, November 15, 1987<\/em><\/p>\n

This is one of the Oakland Tribune columns I wrote when my kids were little. It”s included in the memoir in essays I’m putting together with my old Tribune editor, Lisa Wrenn.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Peter likes money.<\/p>\n

He wants an allowance.<\/p>\n

The subject came up at the breakfast table.<\/p>\n

Jon and I debated. Fifty cents a week? 75 cents?<\/p>\n

“Let’s not talk in cents,” said Peter, who is 6 1\/2, pushing 7. “Let’s talk in dollars.”<\/p>\n

He wanted $2.<\/p>\n

Nonplussed, I changed the subject.<\/p>\n

Spending his allowance on candy would not be allowed, I said. “No candy, no weapons, no caps for the cap pistol.”<\/p>\n

Jon demurred. “It’s Peter’s money.”<\/p>\n

“It’s my money,” said Peter.<\/p>\n

Not yet it wasn’t.<\/p>\n

We were stalemated. The subject was dropped.<\/p>\n

Is He Greedy? Or Is He Just a Six-Year-Old?<\/strong><\/h5>\n

Peter likes money because he likes things. Money can buy him things.<\/p>\n

He comes by the tendency honestly.<\/p>\n

His paternal grandfather likes things. Victorian Furniture. ’57 Chryslers. Coins.<\/p>\n

Peter likes Battle Beast vehicles. Walkie talkies. Rainbow, his stuffed puppy. He-Man <\/a>swords. Cowboy pistols. Space stations. His blankie.<\/p>\n

His things help him to think.<\/p>\n

If he is feeling cuddly, he wraps the blankie around Rainbow. Lonesome, he calls Mommy on the Walkie Talkie. Powerful – or powerless – he pits a Battle Beast against the enemy and defeats him soundly.<\/p>\n

Peter is loyal to his things.<\/p>\n

Every stuffed giraffe, battered firefighter’s hat, nursery school glue project and legless Superman<\/a> holds an eternal and immutable place in Peter’s heart.<\/p>\n

But that does not mean there is no space in Peter’s heart or in Peter’s bedroom for something new.<\/p>\n

At the toy store, he spotted a Battle Beast vehicle he had never seen.<\/p>\n

“Mommy, can I have it?”<\/p>\n

“It’s expensive. It’s $12.83.”<\/p>\n

“I want it.”<\/p>\n

“Well, you could earn it. You could learn your math facts. I’ll give you a dime for each time you practice a set.”<\/p>\n

“You will? Rad!”<\/p>\n

“$12.83 is a lot of money. It will take a lot of work.”<\/p>\n

Peter fondled the shiny package.<\/p>\n

A Six-Year-Old Work Ethic<\/strong><\/h5>\n

“Mommy, I want to work,” he said firmly.<\/p>\n

It cost me $12.83 and 4 \u00bd hours of my own time, but three days later, Peter knew his addition facts, right down to six plus seven and eight plus nine.<\/p>\n

“Three plus four. Three plus four,” said Peter, slapping his forehead. “I’ve got to think faster. Oh, yeh. Seven!”<\/p>\n

Another dime clinked into Peter’s stash.<\/p>\n

“Wait, Mommy, let’s count how much dollars I have.”<\/p>\n

Again and again, Peter counted his money.<\/p>\n

He learned he could make a dollar with 10 dimes or four quarters. He counted his coins by twos, by fives, by 10s.<\/p>\n

I was stunned. I did not know that Peter could learn so much so fast. I didn’t know that he was so intensely interested in money.<\/p>\n

Most of all, I was surprised that I could pander so unconscionably to my son’s greed.<\/p>\n

When Peter was a toddler and still soiling his pants, I tried everything.<\/p>\n

I let him go bare-bottomed. I followed him around with the potty. I praised. I scolded. I tried patience. I tried exasperation. Nothing worked.<\/p>\n

Finally, I tried M&M’s – one for Peter, one for Christina – for every successful trip to the potty.<\/p>\n

It worked.<\/p>\n

It worked, not because Peter is a profane, banal kid who responds only to bribes. It worked because I gave Peter a choice. He could use the potty and get an M&M. Or he could use his underpants and not get an M&M.<\/p>\n

For the first time in his life Peter – not Mom – was in charge of his bathroom functions.<\/p>\n

Stephanie’s mother uses raisins and Cheerios.<\/p>\n

To get Stephanie to practice her reading last year, she put a raisin or a Cheerio on each word in the word list. Stephanie read and ate, read and ate, read and ate.<\/p>\n

“They need a reward,” explains my sister-in-law, Alice, a school counselor and my mentor in these things.<\/p>\n

“I wouldn’t work if I didn’t get paid for it. Why should they?”<\/p>\n

At least one other mother in our neighborhood has come to understand the value of money.<\/p>\n

“I’m going to sell my candy to my mother,” Sterling informed Peter on Halloween night. “Then I’m going to buy a toy.”<\/p>\n

“That’s right,” said Claudia, as she served up a Halloween supper of low-cal turkey lasagna. “Then I’m going to throw it all away.”<\/p>\n

Two nights later, Jon and Peter saw Sterling and his mother at Safeway.<\/p>\n

Sterling was still in possession of his candy.<\/p>\n

“I want $30 for it,” said Sterling.<\/p>\n

“And I won’t pay more than $5,” said Claudia.<\/p>\n

\u00a9 1987 The Oakland Tribune<\/a>. Reprinted by permission.<\/em><\/p>\n

That little six-year-old is gone: Peter is 28 years old now. He’s paid off his student loans and\u00a0his\u00a0car payments,\u00a0he doesn’t mind taking the red eye, and if there’s a 401k in the picture he’s maxed it out. He still knows a good\u00a0deal when he sees one, but he’s also a generous human being who acquires and spends the folding stuff thoughtfully.<\/em><\/p>\n

Another story from Peter’s childhood at “I Can’t Say No to Toys<\/a>.”\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\"A<\/a><\/p>\n

My six-year-old wanted an allowance. Jon and I debated. Fifty cents a week? 75? “Let’s not talk in cents,” said Peter. “Let’s talk in dollars.” Read more.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":27219,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,30],"tags":[34,151,55,82,56],"class_list":["post-990","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-a-case-of-the-human-condition","category-my-changing-family","tag-dont-miss","tag-kids-and-money","tag-family-stories","tag-on-the-funny-side","tag-peter"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/990","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=990"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/990\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/27219"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=990"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=990"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=990"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}