{"id":33639,"date":"2021-05-29T00:05:05","date_gmt":"2021-05-29T07:05:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/barbarafalconernewhall.com\/?p=33639"},"modified":"2021-05-29T00:05:05","modified_gmt":"2021-05-29T07:05:05","slug":"my-husband-passed-away-and-took-the-encyclopedia-with-him","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/my-husband-passed-away-and-took-the-encyclopedia-with-him\/","title":{"rendered":"My Husband Passed Away and Took the Encyclopedia With Him"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"my-husband-passed-away\"<\/a>
Jon at work on his his thriller novel, which he finished a few weeks before he died. Photo by Barbara Newhall<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Where’s Jon when I need him most?<\/p>\n

Not here, that’s for sure.<\/p>\n

My husband passed away in February and took the family encyclopedia with him. All kinds of fun facts, handy info, and beloved family stories went with him.<\/p>\n

Like:<\/p>\n

How do I make a reservation on Airbnb?<\/p>\n

How much did our new stone patio cost? And where the heck’s the paperwork?<\/p>\n

Where in your office do I find the thriller novel you finished two weeks before you died? The one with the dodgy Secret Service agent?<\/p>\n

And how about the one with the dramatic chase scene through the bowels of the sewage treatment plant — did you ever finish it? Do you want it published? Or do I throw it back in its drawer?<\/p>\n

He Took the Encyclopedia<\/strong><\/h5>\n

Where are you when I need you — like when I want to order dinner at the Himalayan take-out place<\/a>. Is it the paneer I like? Or the biryani? You knew. I don’t.<\/p>\n

You were the repository of important facts and information. (Who assassinated JFK?) But you were also the keeper of some enduring family stories.<\/p>\n

For example, what exactly did you say to the five-year-old Peter when he asked why his birth mother had given him up? What did he say? I wasn’t there. I can’t tell that story.<\/p>\n

A Frog or a Duck<\/strong>?<\/h5>\n

As for Christina, when she was born, you said she looked like a frog? Or did you say she looked like a duck?<\/p>\n

I never needed to keep track of stuff like that. I could ask you. You were always there to tell the story. To order the biryani. To make the Airbnb reservation.<\/p>\n

You had all this info stashed in your brain, and you took it with you when you went away.<\/p>\n

Will I Forget Jon?<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Now three months into widowhood, I worry that, without Jon’s help, I’ll forget the essential family facts and stories.<\/p>\n

I worry that I’ll forget Jon.<\/p>\n

Not the big fact of his existence, but the small facts, the gestures, the quirks, the jokes.\u00a0<\/p>\n

The little things that made Jon Jon. How his voice boomed when he got on the phone with his brother. His posture when he attacked a crossword puzzle.\u00a0<\/p>\n

The way his upper lip curled over his lower lip when he was having a big thought. (Or was it the other way around? Bottom lip over top?)<\/p>\n

How do I hold on to these small things if Jon’s not here to keep them here?<\/p>\n

For a nice picture of Jon working on a crossword puzzle go to “Retired Is a State of Mind. Six Ways to Know If You’re There Yet.”<\/a>\u00a0 Some thoughts on art at “The Downside of Things Beautiful. From the Mighty Rose to the Humble Daisy.”<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\"my-husband-passed-away\"<\/a><\/p>\n

When my husband passed away, he took the family encyclopedia with him. Fun facts, handy info, and beloved family stories went with him.\u00a0 Read more.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":33690,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[187,34,2468,191,29,82,2469,2419,575],"class_list":["post-33639","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-widowed","tag-death","tag-dont-miss","tag-encyclopedia","tag-grief","tag-jon","tag-on-the-funny-side","tag-thriller","tag-widowed","tag-writing"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33639","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=33639"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33639\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=33639"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=33639"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=33639"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}