{"id":34263,"date":"2021-09-04T00:01:55","date_gmt":"2021-09-04T07:01:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/barbarafalconernewhall.com\/?p=34263"},"modified":"2026-06-06T12:19:20","modified_gmt":"2026-06-06T12:19:20","slug":"things-to-do-before-you-die","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/things-to-do-before-you-die\/","title":{"rendered":"Two Big Things to Do Before You Die (Your Dear Ones Will Thank You)"},"content":{"rendered":"<figure id=\"attachment_34282\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-34282\" style=\"width: 1200px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/2021\/09\/04\/things-to-do-before-you-die\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"https:\/\/barbarafalconernewhall.com\/2021\/09\/04\/things-to-do-before-you-die\/ noopener\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-34282 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/David-Jim-Barbara-Falconer-c.-1951-resized.webp\" alt=\"things to do before you die -- take photos like this one of a 1951-birthday-party\" width=\"1200\" height=\"675\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-34282\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Things to do before you die: A single photo can record a lot of history. This one of my brothers and me was a posed shot, but it reveals details of our family&#8217;s life around 1951. Notice the gas range at the left, the hefty hamburger on the dinner plate, the venetian blinds and 1940s flowered curtains, and my plaid and lace school dress. (Yes, girls wore dresses to school in the &#8217;50s.) <em>Photo by Tinka or Dave Falconer<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>As I see it, there are two big, big things to do before you die.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Take photos of yourself, lots of them.<\/li>\n<li>Write your own obituary.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Your loved ones will thank you.<\/p>\n<h5><strong>Write That Obituary<\/strong><\/h5>\n<p>Start by writing your own obituary &#8212; not the cornball stuff. Leave that to your heirs and friends. Let them tell the world how generous, wise and super cool you are (were!).<\/p>\n<p>Instead, <em>make a list.<\/em> Compile the details &#8212; all the things you know by heart, but that your absent-minded friends family always had to ask you for.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>What are the exact names of your workplaces? Your job titles? Achievements?<\/li>\n<li>What are your churches, clubs and charities? Which preoccupations reveal the real you &#8212; writing postcards for political causes? Feeding feral cats?<\/li>\n<li>Where have you lived? The wilds of northern Michigan? The canyons of Manhattan?<\/li>\n<li>Your sports teams &#8212; were you a Giants fan in A&#8217;s country?<\/li>\n<li>Your hobbies. If you were a birdwatcher, is a vermilion flycatcher on your life list?<\/li>\n<li>Note all the full, formal names. Check the spellings. Don&#8217;t leave pesky details to your (sad, discombobulated) children to fret over.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>After Jon died in February, his brother and I found ourselves scrambling to <a href=\"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/2021\/02\/27\/jonathan-newhall\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">write his obituary<\/a>. We had a good grasp of the basics &#8212; birth dates, school and college graduation dates. But for the life of us we could not come up with important biographical details.<\/p>\n<p>What year did Jon found the scrappy, anti-Vietnam war Zodiac News Service? How many subscribers did he have?<\/p>\n<p>What exactly did Jon do during the long hours he put in at that string of software companies he worked for? Was he a computer programmer? A software engineer? I wasn&#8217;t sure.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_34276\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-34276\" style=\"width: 1200px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/2021\/09\/04\/things-to-do-before-you-die\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"https:\/\/barbarafalconernewhall.com\/2021\/09\/04\/things-to-do-before-you-die\/ noopener\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-34276 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/20170907_143506-2.webp\" alt=\"things to do before you die, take photos like this one of peter-and-jon-newhall\" width=\"1200\" height=\"674\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-34276\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">I took this candid shot of Peter and Jon during a visit to Peter&#8217;s office in 2017. After Jon died, Peter asked for a photo of himself with his dad. This is the only one I could find. <em>Photo by Barbara Newhall<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Phone calls to some long-time colleagues filled in these details, but I was distressed at not having a command of them myself. Too, it was hard to initiate those calls in the midst of so much heartbreak.<\/p>\n<p>Like I said, no need to write a finished obituary &#8212; just generate a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.acremation.com\/obituary-guidelines\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">tidy, ongoing list<\/a> of the big facts.<\/p>\n<h5><strong>Things to Do Before You Die &#8212; Turn the Camera on You<\/strong><\/h5>\n<p>There&#8217;s a second big thing you can do for your dear ones: get on the other side of the camera. Take selfies. Better yet, hand over the camera to friends and family and let them take pictures of you.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Posed pictures &#8212; face first and smiling your trademark smile.<\/li>\n<li>Candid action shots &#8212; encourage your people to catch you doing stuff and not looking at the camera or smiling for it.<\/li>\n<li>Photos that show your surroundings, clothing and possessions.<\/li>\n<li>Photos of you alongside the important people in your life.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>After Jon died, our son Peter wanted a picture of himself with his father. I searched my photo files over the past five years. There were dozens of photos of Jon with Peter&#8217;s little daughters. Dozens of <a href=\"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/2013\/06\/13\/the-mother-of-the-groom-diaries-snapping-pictures-at-the-wedding\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">photos of Peter<\/a> with his kids. But hardly anything of Jon and Peter. I felt sad about this.<\/p>\n<p>Too, I found myself deeply appreciating the photos of Jon that I did come across in my files, especially the candid ones and the ones that showed Jon&#8217;s unique body language. They brought him back to me and helped me remember aspects of my husband that I fear I&#8217;ll forget as the years go by. I wish I had more pictures of Jon. Lots more.<\/p>\n<p>And so, I see that I need to follow my own advice and add to my own things to do before you die. Start by handing <a href=\"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/2014\/08\/28\/point-and-shoot-heaven-photographing-a-garden-in-minnesota-just-before-dusk\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">my trusty point-and-shoot<\/a> over to friends and family from time to time. Let myself be photographed, wobbly neck and all. This will take courage. Grit.<\/p>\n<p>The grandchildren are adorable. And, yes, they are more photogenic than you and I. But you and I have people who love us a lot and will treasure glimpses of us when we&#8217;ve gone to the other side of the grass.<\/p>\n<p>Or, in my case, <a href=\"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/2021\/07\/03\/my-grave\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">the dandelions<\/a>.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_34285\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-34285\" style=\"width: 1200px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/2021\/09\/04\/things-to-do-before-you-die\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"https:\/\/barbarafalconernewhall.com\/2021\/09\/04\/things-to-do-before-you-die\/ noopener\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-34285 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/20200812_155716-resized.webp\" alt=\"things to do before you die, take pictures, like this one of a man-vaccuming-house-during-covid\" width=\"1200\" height=\"674\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-34285\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Things to do before you die: I&#8217;m not above taking pictures of my family when they&#8217;re not looking. Jon was never bothered by my temerity, which is why I have so many telling pictures of him. I took this one of him gamely vacuuming the front hall stairs during the covid shut-down. It was his first attempt at this particular household task, and I was pretty sure that once the shut-down was over I wouldn&#8217;t get another chance at this shot. <em>Photo by Barbara Newhall<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/2021\/09\/04\/things-to-do-before-you-die\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"https:\/\/barbarafalconernewhall.com\/2021\/09\/04\/things-to-do-before-you-die\/ noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-34282 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/David-Jim-Barbara-Falconer-c.-1951-resized.jpg\" alt=\"things to do before you die 1951-birthday-party\" width=\"1200\" height=\"675\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>As I see it, there are two big, big things to do before you die. Take photos of yourself, lots of them. And write your own obituary. <a href=\"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/2021\/09\/04\/things-to-do-before-you-die\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Read more.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":49443,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[103,187,34,29,2505,82,32,2506],"class_list":["post-34263","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-widowed","tag-aging","tag-death","tag-dont-miss","tag-jon","tag-obituaries","tag-on-the-funny-side","tag-photography","tag-things-to-do-before-you-die"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34263","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=34263"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34263\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":49445,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34263\/revisions\/49445"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/49443"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=34263"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=34263"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=34263"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}