{"id":34336,"date":"2021-09-25T00:01:46","date_gmt":"2021-09-25T07:01:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/barbarafalconernewhall.com\/?p=34336"},"modified":"2026-06-06T12:13:53","modified_gmt":"2026-06-06T12:13:53","slug":"we-buried-my-husband","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/we-buried-my-husband\/","title":{"rendered":"Widowed: We Buried My Husband Last Week"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"we-buried-my-husband\"<\/a>
We buried my husband at Cypress Lawn cemetery in Colma, California, last Saturday. Photo by Matthew Yarbrough<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Long-time readers may have noticed that I went silent last Saturday — my normal posting day. That’s because we buried my husband last weekend, and during the days leading up to his interment, I was too worried to write.<\/p>\n

I was grief-stricken. I was preoccupied with preparations for the interment. But mostly I was worried.<\/p>\n

I worried that something would go horribly wrong at the interment. What if the caterer showed up late? Or not at all? What if the hors d’oeuvres were terrible or the table decorations dreary? Jon thought cut flowers were depressing, so on a whim I had ordered arrangements made of succulents and twigs, sight unseen. How would that go?<\/p>\n

Most important, would everybody who said they’d be there make it to the cemetery during these covid times?<\/p>\n

Underpinning all this worry was fear, fear that I would let Jon down, that this last thing that I could do for him would fall short, that I would fail him.<\/p>\n

\"succulent-floral-design<\/a>
The Colma Flower Shop<\/a> created these table decorations. The designer used succulents and twigs instead of flowers out of consideration for Jon, who found cut flowers sad. My plan is to use these living things to create a succulent garden for Jon in our new side yard. Photo by Barbara Newhall<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

But on the day, somehow, magically, everything went as planned. Better than as planned. The food was terrific<\/a>, the succulents and their twigs enchanting. The sun shone and the tablecloths –blue for the color of Jon’s eyes — wafted cheerfully in the wind.<\/p>\n

Thirty-five close friends and family showed up at the cemetery<\/a>, as promised. They came from the Bay Area and from as far away as the East Coast, the Midwest, Seattle, Montana and Southern California.<\/p>\n

Together we gathered around Jon’s gravesite to say good-bye, then we proceeded to an outdoor reception to tell our Jon stories.<\/p>\n

Jon was gone.<\/a> But so many people who loved him, and who love me, were there.<\/p>\n

Which is how, to my surprise, the day I had so dreaded turned out to be so beautiful.<\/p>\n