{"id":34481,"date":"2021-10-23T00:01:59","date_gmt":"2021-10-23T07:01:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/barbarafalconernewhall.com\/?p=34481"},"modified":"2026-06-06T12:00:02","modified_gmt":"2026-06-06T12:00:02","slug":"who-will-look-after-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/who-will-look-after-me\/","title":{"rendered":"Widowed: Who Will Look After Me Now That Jon Is Gone?"},"content":{"rendered":"<figure id=\"attachment_34488\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-34488\" style=\"width: 1200px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/2021\/10\/23\/who-will-look-after-me\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"https:\/\/barbarafalconernewhall.com\/2021\/10\/23\/who-will-look-after-me\/ noopener\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-34488 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/2021-09-birthday-plants-reszed-1.webp\" alt=\"who will look after me arctostaphylos-manzanita\" width=\"1200\" height=\"675\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-34488\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">No way can I leave my manzanitas and salvias behind. These plants are birthday presents, waiting to go into the ground.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>I still have lots of people coming and going at my house right now. I just dropped my college roommate off at the airport after a three-day visit. But now as I settle into my ninth decade on this planet, I wonder &#8212; who will look after me now that Jon is gone?<\/p>\n<p>Jon &#8212; the guy who gave me rides when my car was in the shop. The guy who walked me to his car after a colonoscopy. The one who made sure there were groceries in the house and air in my tires. He&#8217;s not there any more. Who will look after me?<\/p>\n<p>What if I wake up dizzy and woozy some morning &#8212; who will drive me to the doctor? And what if I choke on a slippery shitake? Who will slap me hard on the back so I can live to order more Chinese take-out? What if? What if?<\/p>\n<p>Should I &#8212;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Sign up for Meals on Wheels so that somebody knocks on my door at least once a day?<\/li>\n<li>Ask my college roommate to ditch her husband and move back in with me?<\/li>\n<li>Rent out the downstairs to a college student and hope she hears the thump and the bump when I fall in the tub?<\/li>\n<li>Pay big bucks for a granny nanny to hang out with me?<\/li>\n<li>Move into a senior living complex and drink a glass of watered-down Chablis at dinner with the other 80-somethings?<\/li>\n<li>Get one of those medical alert thingies you wear around your neck &#8212; just push the button and, bingo, the medics arrive and so does your neighbor from across the street?<\/li>\n<li>Or, be the cool kid and spring 500 bucks for the smart watch\/phone that keeps track of your heartbeat and your every step?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I don&#8217;t see a solution here.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Meals on Wheels is something I should be donating to, not exploiting.<\/li>\n<li>My roommate still likes her husband.<\/li>\n<li>A college student living downstairs? Think marijuana smoke and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=h_L4Rixya64\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Foo Fighter<\/a> decibels.<\/li>\n<li>A granny nanny? She&#8217;d get in the way in the kitchen.<\/li>\n<li>A senior residence? I&#8217;d have to leave my salvias and manzanitas behind. Also the camellias. Are you kidding?<\/li>\n<li>As for the smart watch, you have to be a little smart to navigate its emergency functions. I&#8217;m smart right now, but how smart will I be after I&#8217;ve slipped on the kitchen throw rug and hit my head on the granite?<\/li>\n<li>That leaves me with the medical alert button. And I&#8217;m way too young for that. Right?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><em>More about camellias at &#8220;<a href=\"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/2013\/05\/09\/in-the-garden-look-what-happened-in-my-front-yard-when-i-wasnt-looking\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Look What Happened in My Garden Over the Weekend.&#8221;<\/a>\u00a0 Camellias and the events of January 6 feature at <a href=\"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/2021\/01\/09\/this-scary-week\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">&#8220;This Scary Week I&#8217;m Writing About Camellias. Here&#8217;s Why.&#8221;<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_34491\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-34491\" style=\"width: 1200px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/2021\/10\/23\/who-will-look-after-me\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"https:\/\/barbarafalconernewhall.com\/2021\/10\/23\/who-will-look-after-me\/ noopener\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-34491 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/IMG_0493-2-1.webp\" alt=\"who will look after me the way jon did, with trips to Farmers-market\" width=\"1200\" height=\"673\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-34491\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Jon kept the house stocked with groceries. Here, he&#8217;s enjoying a Sunday morning at the neighborhood farmers market. Who will look after me if he&#8217;s not here? <em>Photos by Barbara Newhall<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/2021\/10\/23\/who-will-look-after-me\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"https:\/\/barbarafalconernewhall.com\/2021\/10\/23\/who-will-look-after-me\/ noopener\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-34491 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/IMG_0493-2.jpg\" alt=\"Farmers-market\" width=\"1200\" height=\"673\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Jon was the one I could count on for rides to car repair shops and colonoscopies. Who will look after me now?\u00a0 <a href=\"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/2021\/10\/23\/who-will-look-after-me\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Read more.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":49414,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[30,14],"tags":[34,29,2520,2521,82,2522],"class_list":["post-34481","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-my-changing-family","category-widowed","tag-dont-miss","tag-jon","tag-living-solo","tag-medic-alert","tag-on-the-funny-side","tag-widow"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34481","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=34481"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34481\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":49417,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34481\/revisions\/49417"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/49414"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=34481"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=34481"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=34481"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}