{"id":34558,"date":"2021-11-06T00:01:59","date_gmt":"2021-11-06T07:01:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/barbarafalconernewhall.com\/?p=34558"},"modified":"2026-06-06T11:48:21","modified_gmt":"2026-06-06T11:48:21","slug":"what-do-you-say-when-someone-dies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/what-do-you-say-when-someone-dies\/","title":{"rendered":"What Do You Say When Someone Dies?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"what<\/a>
A few of the condolence cards sent to us after Jon died. Photo by Barbara Newhall<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

What do you say when someone dies? How do you console a friend?<\/p>\n

It’s a tough question. And the reason it’s a tough question is — there’s not much you can say to a person who’s lost a dear one.<\/p>\n

Nothing can make the grief go away. Nothing can bring the lost person back to the land of the living.<\/p>\n

In short, there is not much you can say or do when someone dies, except to be there for your friend.<\/p>\n

But being there is huge. I’ve found that out in the past nine months.<\/p>\n

What Do You Say?<\/strong><\/h5>\n

A few weeks after Jon died I ran into a friend I hadn’t seen in months. I’ll call her Becky, to protect the guilt-ridden.<\/p>\n

“Barbara,” she said. “I’ve had a condolence card on my desk for weeks. But I didn’t know what to write on it, so it’s still sitting there.”<\/p>\n

Of course she didn’t know what to write on it. What was there to say? What do you say when someone dies?<\/p>\n

I wanted to blurt out, “Send the card anyway! It will mean a lot to me, even if it’s just a store-bought sympathy card with hearts and flowers and your name on it.”<\/p>\n

Finding that card in my mailbox would be a boon. It would reassure me that — although I don’t have Jon anymore, I still have my friend Becky.<\/p>\n

What I needed — and still need — from Becky and others is simple –:<\/p>\n