{"id":36027,"date":"2022-07-09T00:01:54","date_gmt":"2022-07-09T07:01:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/barbarafalconernewhall.com\/?p=36027"},"modified":"2026-06-06T07:06:49","modified_gmt":"2026-06-06T07:06:49","slug":"my-deceased-husbands-mail","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/my-deceased-husbands-mail\/","title":{"rendered":"My Deceased Husband’s Mail — I Like Getting It"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"my<\/a>
My deceased husband’s mail — from his favorite charities. I like seeing these letters to Jon.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I found a basket of my deceased husband’s mail waiting for me a few days ago, when I came home from a week with the grandchildren, .<\/p>\n

Bleary from a three-hour flight and a two-hour time change, I had rolled my suitcases into the garage and found, thanks to a helpful neighbor, a week’s worth of mail piled in a laundry basket.<\/p>\n

Most of the mail was addressed to “Jonathan Newhall.” And most of it came from the charities Jon donated to when he was alive:<\/p>\n

It came from social justice groups like the ACLU, Common Cause, the Southern Poverty Law Center, Move On and Doctors Without Borders.<\/p>\n

It also came from science foundations like the American Association for the Advancement of Science and the Union of Concerned Scientists.<\/p>\n

And animal charities like Best Friends Animal Society and the SPCA<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Jonathan Newhall on the Envelopes<\/strong><\/h5>\n

I hadn’t even entered the house, and already I was in tears — for Jon, for the Jonathan Newhall on all those envelopes.<\/p>\n

The letters — there were so many of them — say a lot about Jon, his thoughts, his intentions and feelings. About what made Jon Jon.<\/p>\n

But even more consequential for me was — those letters felt like Jon was still in action<\/em>, Jon’s desires were still setting themselves through all these months later.<\/p>\n

The letters had their beginnings — years ago probably — when Jon first sat down to write those donation checks. And now Jon, in the form of the letters I was holding in my hands, was showing up in our garage, persisting.<\/p>\n

My Deceased Husband’s Mail<\/strong><\/h5>\n

I have my own charitable donation schedule. So mostly, I throw letters like these directly into the recycle bin in the garage without taking them into the house. Occasionally I’ll add some to a stack I keep in Jon’s office, so I can pay him a visit from time to time and feel those feelings of his.<\/p>\n

Jon had strong feelings about certain things. When I first met him, it was civil rights, Watergate, the war in Vietnam. Later, if we passed a someone on the street with a petition to sign or someone asking for money, I’d avert my eyes.\u00a0 Jon would sign the petition and give the money.<\/p>\n

Return to Sender?<\/strong><\/h5>\n

A sensible person might choose to return as undeliverable all those letters with Jon’s name on them. Why not spare yourself the pang of getting mail addressed to a dead spouse, day in and day out?<\/p>\n

But I like getting Jon’s mail. I like being reminded that I was married to a man who cared about science, justice — and cats.<\/p>\n

More thoughts on philanthropy at World Hunger — Is It Up to Me to Fix It?<\/a>\u00a0 Also, “Fifteen Patriotic Holiday Gifts for the Worried Progresssives on Your List.”<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

\"my<\/a>
Jon and the neighbor’s cat. Photos by Barbara Newhall<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\"charity-donations\"<\/a><\/p>\n

When my deceased husband’s mail arrives in our mailbox, it’s often from charities he supported, so a little bit of him shows up along with it.\u00a0 Read more.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":49214,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[1668,2613,34,29,2614,2615,2419],"class_list":["post-36027","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-widowed","tag-cats","tag-charity","tag-dont-miss","tag-jon","tag-justice","tag-mail","tag-widowed"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36027","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=36027"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36027\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":49217,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36027\/revisions\/49217"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/49214"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=36027"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=36027"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=36027"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}