{"id":37101,"date":"2023-01-28T00:01:41","date_gmt":"2023-01-28T08:01:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/barbarafalconernewhall.com\/?p=37101"},"modified":"2026-06-06T06:27:57","modified_gmt":"2026-06-06T06:27:57","slug":"my-late-husbands-winter-coat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/my-late-husbands-winter-coat\/","title":{"rendered":"What to Do With My Late Husband’s Winter Coat?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"my<\/a>
My late husband’s winter coat, warm and barely used, on a rack at my church with other winter coats ready to be passed on to people who needed them as temperatures dropped in the Bay Area. Photos by Barbara Newhall<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

There are some things in this house that I leave where Jon left them. I turn my face away from them: Jon’s recumbent bike. Jon’s shaving kit with its minty fragrance of Jon. Jon’s sock drawer. The DVR that still faithfully records Jon’s NFL games.<\/p>\n

But from time to time there is something that I’m finally ready to let go of. A couple of months ago<\/a>, for example, I wasn’t ready to give away my late husband’s winter coat. I took it out of its garment bag and put it back in.<\/p>\n

But in the days that followed, my church announced a clothing drive. Warm coats were needed by the folks who would be spending the winter on the streets of the Bay Area.<\/p>\n

I wanted to keep the coat. Tangible things like this old coat allow me to feel that Jon is still here. He’s not here watching a football game. He’s not making dinner for the two of us. He’s not huffily asserting his rights to his end of the bedroom closet. But his coat is here, so he’s here.<\/p>\n

Yes, it’s hard to give up the things that Jon wore, handled, touched and treasured. But I know what Jon would say about this winter coat of his if I asked him.<\/p>\n

He’d say it if I didn’t ask him.<\/p>\n

“Someone needs that coat, Barbara. It’s just a coat. Give it to somebody.”<\/p>\n

Jon was like that.<\/p>\n

I’m not.<\/p>\n

But it was November. It was getting cold out there. Somebody could use that coat, I knew. It wasn’t doing anyone any good hanging in a garment bag in our son’s old bedroom closet. Giving it away was the right thing to do. But how to bring myself to do that?<\/p>\n

This is how I did it: I took the coat from its garment bag. I drove it over to the church, and on the way I told myself again and again that there was more of Jon in the giving away of his coat than in the keeping of it.<\/p>\n

It worked. The coat is gone.<\/p>\n

The shaving kit, however, is still there.<\/p>\n

More Jon stories at “The Day I Popped the Question.”<\/a>\u00a0 Also, “Why Can’t a Dad Be More Like a Mom?”<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

\"My<\/a>
Along with my late husband’s winter coat, I added his old beach sandals to the collection at my church.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\"my<\/a><\/p>\n

I wanted to keep my late husband’s winter coat. It let me feel close to him. But the weather was turning cold. Someone needed that coat.\u00a0 Read more.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":49135,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[2613,2584,34,191,2237,29],"class_list":["post-37101","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-widowed","tag-charity","tag-church","tag-dont-miss","tag-grief","tag-homeless","tag-jon"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37101","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=37101"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37101\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":49138,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37101\/revisions\/49138"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/49135"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=37101"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=37101"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=37101"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}