{"id":37314,"date":"2023-03-18T00:01:46","date_gmt":"2023-03-18T07:01:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/barbarafalconernewhall.com\/?p=37314"},"modified":"2026-06-06T05:56:49","modified_gmt":"2026-06-06T05:56:49","slug":"what-to-say-to-a-widow","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/what-to-say-to-a-widow\/","title":{"rendered":"What to Say to a Widow"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"what<\/a>
What to say to a widow? Tell me a story — maybe a funny one about Jon Newhall and his brother Tony, who began the brotherly teasing early, I’m told. Scott Newhall photo<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

People often wonder what to say to a widow or widower in the months following a spouse’s death.<\/p>\n

Here’s a tip: If the widow in question is me — say something about Jon.<\/p>\n

I like knowing that other people remember my husband, that I’m not the only one who treasures him. I like knowing that Jon is still among us.<\/p>\n

I was reclined in the dentist’s chair the other day and the hygienist was cleaning my teeth when the dentist came into the room.<\/p>\n

“How are you,” she asked.<\/p>\n

“Good,” I said. “I’m good. I’m staying busy.”<\/p>\n

Later, when she returned to look at my teeth, the dentist asked the question again. This time emphatically. “How are<\/em> you?”<\/p>\n

Oh, I get it, I thought. She wants to know how I’m doing — without Jon. She wants to talk about Jon.<\/p>\n

I wanted to talk about Jon.<\/p>\n

“I miss Jon,”\u00a0 I said. “It’s hard.”<\/p>\n

“We miss him, too.”<\/p>\n

I was touched. Our dentist of many years missed Jon. Her time with him meant something to her and she wanted me to know that.<\/p>\n

“He had such a great sense of humor,” she went on. “He always made us laugh.”<\/p>\n

Jon made his dentist laugh. That sounds like Jon. How many people would try to make their dentist laugh?<\/p>\n

What to Say to a Widow<\/strong><\/h5>\n

I especially love hearing specific stories about Jon, particularly the ones that are so true to him that they reincarnate him for just a moment.<\/p>\n

A few months ago an email arrived from Jon’s niece Lindsey. Lindsey is the daughter of Jon’s twin brother Tony. Like many brothers, Jon and Tony had a long history of teasing one another.<\/p>\n

\n
\n
\n
\n
\n
\n
\n
\n
\n
\n

Lindsey wanted to tell me about a dream she’d had that featured her uncle Jon (who died in 2021) and her grandfather Scott (who died in 1992). Jon and Scott were were hanging out together in the afterlife, laughing and looking pretty happy, she said.<\/p>\n

The dream took an inexplicable turn, however, as dreams are wont to do. Lindsey’s father — who is very much alive — appeared in the dream.<\/p>\n

Jon spotted him.<\/p>\n

“Uncle Jon walked over to my dad and said, ‘Tony, I’ll see you in two weeks.'”<\/p>\n

Oh, dear, Lindsey thought. Were her father’s days numbered?<\/p>\n

But then Jon said, “JUST KIDDING!”<\/p>\n

Yep. That’s Jon, stirring things up.<\/p>\n

This is the second report from the afterlife that Jon’s niece has intercepted. There’s also, “Breaking News: The Afterlife is ‘Fantastic.'”<\/a>\u00a0 Meanwhile, the daffodils are blooming all over the place in my neighborhood right now. Here’s how I feel about those\u00a0 trumpets of cheer:\u00a0 “The Trouble With Daffodils — And My Writing.”<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\"What<\/a><\/p>\n

What to say to a widow? Here’s a tip: If the widow in question is me — tell me a true story about my husband.\u00a0 Read more.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":49074,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[2663,34,2664,2074,2665,82,2666],"class_list":["post-37314","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-widowed","tag-dentist","tag-dont-miss","tag-dreams","tag-jon-newhall","tag-lindsey-newhall","tag-on-the-funny-side","tag-tony-newhall"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37314","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=37314"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37314\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":49076,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37314\/revisions\/49076"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/49074"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=37314"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=37314"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=37314"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}