{"id":37517,"date":"2023-01-14T00:01:55","date_gmt":"2023-01-14T08:01:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/barbarafalconernewhall.com\/?p=37517"},"modified":"2026-06-06T06:27:05","modified_gmt":"2026-06-06T06:27:05","slug":"new-years-resolution-do-less","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/new-years-resolution-do-less\/","title":{"rendered":"My New Year’s Resolution — Do Less. Not More. Subtract!"},"content":{"rendered":"
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My New Years resolution — do less, starting with letting someone else find plants for the refurbished front yard<\/a> garden. Photo by Barbara Newhall<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

My 2023 New Year’s resolution is — do less this year, not more.<\/p>\n

Instead of creating yet another to-do list for the new year, I’m tearing up some lists I’ve already got.<\/p>\n

That’s the plan anyway.<\/p>\n

Ever since Jon departed and left me holding the grocery list, the handyman list, the tax info list, and the Christmas card list — to name but a few — I’ve had way too many to-do lists on my to-do list.<\/p>\n

I can’t do it all. I just can’t.<\/p>\n

And I’ve got some smart people telling me to stop trying.<\/p>\n

A few months after Jon’s death, his 101-year-old godfather called me up to say quit working so hard. Forget those writing deadlines. Give yourself a break. Spend the sliver of time you have left to you with the people you love. That’s what matters.<\/p>\n

I wrote what he said on a sticky note, stuck it by the phone, and went back to my to-do lists.<\/p>\n

Ilene Cummings, a woman I interviewed way back in 2001 for my book, “Wrestling with God,” was entering her 70s at the time. She wanted to talk about getting older. Getting older is all about subtraction, she said, subtracting one thing after another from one’s plans for the day,\u00a0 and for life.<\/p>\n

I didn’t like what she said. The last thing I wanted back then was to start giving stuff up and start the\u00a0 get-ready-to-die process any sooner than I had to. Nope. Subtraction was not for me<\/p>\n

A writer pal of mine is into subtraction. He is Jeff Greenwald and he’s published a gorgeous book of gorgeous photos of miscellaneous objects. Some of the objects are also gorgeous. Some, not so much. The book is called “108 Objects: Letting Go of Stuff, Keeping Our Stories.”<\/p>\n

Jeff claims to be ready to let go of his stuff. Not the memories they represent, just the things themselves and the effort it will take someone else to dispose of them once he’s gone.<\/p>\n

I admired Jeff. I admired Ilene. I admired Jon’s godfather. So I decided to follow their examples. My New Year’s resolution for 2023 would be — do less this year, not more. Subtract!<\/p>\n

With that, I systematically, cold-heartedly began my 2023 New Year’s non-resolution list. It would be a list of all the things I could consider refusing to do in 2023: The writing projects. The home improvement projects. The self-improvement projects.<\/p>\n

But where to start?<\/p>\n