{"id":40010,"date":"2023-11-11T23:11:17","date_gmt":"2023-11-12T07:11:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/barbarafalconernewhall.com\/?p=40010"},"modified":"2026-06-06T05:30:33","modified_gmt":"2026-06-06T05:30:33","slug":"change-happens","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/change-happens\/","title":{"rendered":"Change Happens. It Just Does"},"content":{"rendered":"<figure id=\"attachment_12910\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-12910\" style=\"width: 500px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/2023\/11\/11\/change-happens\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"https:\/\/barbarafalconernewhall.com\/2023\/11\/11\/change-happens\/ noopener\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-12910 size-large\" title=\"live-oak-tree-with-fallen-limb-san-francisco-bay-area-CA\" src=\"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/fallen-oak-limb-580x387-1.webp\" alt=\"change happens A limb splits off from a live oak tree in San Francisco Bay Area.\" width=\"500\" height=\"334\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-12910\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Change happens. It just does. During a storm, this limb split off from the live oak growing in our canyon during a storm. <em>Photo by Barbara Newhall<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p><em>Note to Readers: I&#8217;m laid up this week with a crazy case of vertigo. So I&#8217;d like to revisit a post with you that I wrote back in 2013. Marc Lesser&#8217;s book, <\/em><em>&#8220;Know Yourself. Forget Yourself,&#8221;<\/em><em> offered some thoughts back then that I still find useful.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Impermanence. It&#8217;s a helpful, if not always comfortable, idea. Change happens. It just does.<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes change is a good thing:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>My son Peter is married with two little ones. He&#8217;s not my cute little kid anymore. He\u2019s a grown man in the process of creating a family of his own, and I\u2019m glad for him.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>At other times, the change is nothing but painful:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>My <a href=\"http:\/\/barbarafalconernewhall.com\/2013\/02\/02\/how-to-be-a-glamorou-gal-at-age-98\/\">Aunt Grace<\/a> died without making it to her 100th birthday. She just did. There was no stopping her.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>An oak tree in the canyon below our house split in half a few years ago. Thirty feet of living, striving branches and twigs fell downhill.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>A cherished rural landscape in Michigan \u2013 near my father\u2019s 1912 birthplace \u2013 has been transformed by a field of steely, towering wind turbines. Fifty-six of them. Each one 312 feet high.<\/li>\n<li>I don&#8217;t have a job to go to every day. I miss the noise and hubbub and interesting people &#8212; my colleagues &#8212; in the newsroom.<\/li>\n<li>Same goes for the wonderful women &#8212; the other moms &#8212; I&#8217;d see on a daily basis at my kids&#8217; schools and on the sidelines at a soccer game.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I\u2019m trying not to grasp. I&#8217;m trying to let go here. I&#8217;m trying to accept that:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Yes, the precious 2-year-old, 5-year-old, 13-year-old Peter is no more.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>No, I can\u2019t have my Aunt Grace back.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li title=\"wind-turbines-mason-county-michigan\">Yes, that live oak is half the tree it used to be.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>And yes, the powers that be have had their way in Mason county, Michigan. Dozens of turbines are <a href=\"http:\/\/www.mlive.com\/news\/muskegon\/index.ssf\/2012\/11\/wind_turbines_in_motion_lake_w.html\">rotating right now<\/a>\u00a0 at the &#8220;Lake Winds Energy Park,&#8221; like it or not.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li id=\"irc_mi\" title=\"lake-winds-energy-park-michigan\">And, no, it\u2019s not 1912 anymore, 1912 is gone forever.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><a id=\"irc_mil\" href=\"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/2023\/11\/11\/change-happens\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"https:\/\/barbarafalconernewhall.com\/2023\/11\/11\/change-happens\/ noopener\" data-ved=\"0CAgQjRwwAA\"><img decoding=\"async\" id=\"irc_mi\" class=\"alignleft\" title=\"lake-winds-energy-park-michigan\" src=\"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/NewsImage_13434.webp\" alt=\"change happens\" width=\"350\" height=\"218\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>And so, I\u2019m sitting here in my writing room trying to remind \u2013 convince \u2013 myself that indeed there\u2019s a good side to this impermanence thing.<\/p>\n<p>The logic, my Buddhist friends tell me, goes like this. If all things are impermanent, that means we humans are impermanent as well. We don\u2019t have to stay stuck in the same-old-same-old.<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 90px;\"><em>Photo: consumerenergy.com<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Change happens. It just does. Which means we can change. We really can. We have that choice.<\/p>\n<p>Zen teacher and executive coach Marc Lesser makes this point in his book, <em>Know Yourself, Forget Yourself<\/em>. He talks about impermanence this way:<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">Sometimes we get trapped by the stories we tell about ourselves, or by our interpretation of what past events mean. These stories create a ripple effect; if we believe them to be true, then we are influenced to live them out. But we don\u2019t have to do that. If it\u2019s true that we are afraid to speak in public, do we explain it by pointing to some humiliating event in childhood? Is that the story of our shyness? More to the point, do we use that story today to hold ourselves back? If so, then we need to work to rewrite this story. Nothing is set in stone.<\/p>\n<p>Lesser goes on to say that he has nothing against stories. \u201cWe speak and think and feel in the language of stories,\u201d he writes.<\/p>\n<p>But he recommends letting go of the unhelpful stories we keep on telling ourselves.<\/p>\n<h5><strong>Change Happens. Go With It<\/strong><\/h5>\n<p>Utilize your stories, he says. Don\u2019t be pushed around by them. Jettison the ones that get in your way, especially the ones that say you have a fixed self that cannot be changed.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_12921\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-12921\" style=\"width: 337px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><a href=\"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/2023\/11\/11\/change-happens\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"https:\/\/barbarafalconernewhall.com\/2023\/11\/11\/change-happens\/ noopener\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-12921 size-large\" title=\"live-oak-and-flowering-tree\" src=\"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/fallen-oak-limb-w-flower-tree-vert-color-fixed-391x580-1.webp\" alt=\"change happens. A tree flowering behind a California live oak tree. Photo by BF Newhall\" width=\"337\" height=\"500\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-12921\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">The split off oak limb made way for the fruit tree.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Lesser describes a married couple who sat down to do a little retirement planning. They gathered a wealth of data \u2013 spreadsheets and graphs \u2013 about their financial situation. As they studied it, the husband saw a future full of possibilities and opportunities, the wife saw only risks and pitfalls.<\/p>\n<p>The couple concluded that, however things worked out for the two of them, the husband was going to be a rich and happy old man, the wife a poor and unhappy old woman.<\/p>\n<p>Husband and wife were living by differing stories, differing viewpoints, Lesser notes. That can create problems for any two people trying to get along, because \u201cto even entertain the opposing viewpoint can seem to risk our own version of reality, our very self.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sad to say, Lesser adds, most of us tend to be like the wife in the story. \u201cWe are much more inclined to perceive, feel, and cling to negative stories than to positive stories.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Which brings us back to impermanence.<\/p>\n<p>Yes, it\u2019s sad to lose that job, that friend. It\u2019s sad to see the Thanksgiving chrysanthemums fade and the needles fall off the Christmas tree. And that oak tree down in the canyon is a sorry sight indeed \u2013 a skinny shadow of itself.<\/p>\n<p>But when I finally climbed down the canyon slope to take a closer look, I saw that, yes, the oak tree was greatly diminished.<\/p>\n<p>But the flowering fruit tree growing behind it was not.<\/p>\n<p>Three years earlier<a href=\"http:\/\/barbarafalconernewhall.com\/2010\/02\/27\/a-case-of-the-human-condition-beauty-is-in-the-eye-of-the-beholder-but-what-if-theres-no-beholder\/\">\u00a0the flowering tree<\/a> was small and cramped and hidden by the more expansive oak.<\/p>\n<p>But that afternoon the fruit tree was huge. Sprawling. It had burst into the sunny open space left behind by the oak tree. It had filled the sky with a delicate criss-crossing of branches, which were covered with buds, thousands and thousands of them waiting to change themselves &#8212; into blossoms.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><em>&#8220;Know Yourself, Forget Yourself: Five Truths to Transform Your Work, Relationships, and Everyday Life<\/em>,&#8221; by<a href=\"https:\/\/marclesser.net\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> Marc Lesser<\/a>, New World Library, 2013.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><em>For another post on Buddhism read about <a href=\"http:\/\/barbarafalconernewhall.com\/2012\/09\/22\/jack-kornfield-buddhist-teacher-on-sex-drugs-enlightenment\/\">Jack Kornfield<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>If you enjoyed this post and would like to get regular updates, click on the Subscribe, icon at the top of the right hand column. You&#8217;ll be notified whenever there is a new post. Enjoy!<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Meanwhile, I&#8217;ve checked out those windmills in Michigan. Read about them and see pictures at<a href=\"http:\/\/barbarafalconernewhall.com\/?s=windmills\"> &#8220;The Windmills of Mason County.&#8221;<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/2023\/11\/11\/change-happens\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"https:\/\/barbarafalconernewhall.com\/2023\/11\/11\/change-happens\/ noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-12931 size-large\" title=\"flowering-tree-budding-in-california-february\" src=\"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/flowering-tree-buds-.webp\" alt=\"A flowering trees buds out in February 2013 in California. Photo by BF Newhall\" width=\"500\" height=\"315\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/2023\/11\/11\/change-happens\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"https:\/\/barbarafalconernewhall.com\/2023\/11\/11\/change-happens\/ noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-12931 size-large\" title=\"flowering-tree-budding-in-california-february\" src=\"http:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/flowering-tree-buds--500x315.jpg\" alt=\"A flowering trees buds out in February 2013 in California. Photo by BF Newhall\" width=\"500\" height=\"315\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":48992,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[272,2786,34,1015,878,214,2787,56,1028],"class_list":["post-40010","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-my-rocky-spiritual-journey","tag-buddhism","tag-change-happens","tag-dont-miss","tag-grace","tag-impermanence","tag-michigan","tag-oak-tree","tag-peter","tag-wind-turbines"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40010","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=40010"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40010\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":48986,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40010\/revisions\/48986"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/48992"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=40010"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=40010"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=40010"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}