{"id":5724,"date":"2011-10-25T21:14:11","date_gmt":"2011-10-26T04:14:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/barbarafalconernewhall.com\/?p=5724"},"modified":"2011-10-25T21:14:11","modified_gmt":"2011-10-26T04:14:11","slug":"book-openers-is-polygamy-normal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/book-openers-is-polygamy-normal\/","title":{"rendered":"Book Openers: Is Polygamy Normal?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"book<\/a>By Barbara Falconer Newhall<\/em><\/p>\n

People who are\u00a0against same-sex marriage often go out of their way to say, \u201cMarriage is between one<\/em> man and one<\/em> woman.\u201d<\/p>\n

I noticed that while reporting a story about gay marriage for the Contra Costa Times in Walnut Creek, California, some years ago.<\/p>\n

Why \u201cone\u201d man and \u201cone\u201d woman, I wondered? Isn\u2019t it\u00a0obvious that a marriage is between two people?<\/p>\n

I now suspect that my conservative sources \u2013 many were Evangelical Christians \u2013 were looking warily at polygamists. Specifically, fundamentalist Mormon polygynists.<\/p>\n

Men with more than one wife.<\/p>\n

Same sex marriage for those conservative-thinking folks was a slippery slope. If gays could get their marriages legalized, what was to keep all those polygamists from seeking legalization of their status as well?<\/p>\n

At the time I thought the anti-gay marriage conservatives were way too sensitive. No way was our society going to sanction polygamy. Polygamy was barbaric. Polygamists were weird. Everybody knew that.<\/p>\n

Not so fast.<\/p>\n

\"Joe<\/a>
Joe Darger and his three wives. Photo by Barbara Falconer Newhall.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Since researching that story on same-sex marriage, I have watched season after season of TV\u2019s \u201cBig Love\u201d (one man, three wives, lotsa kids).<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve also watched a couple of episodes of \u201cSister Wives\u201d (one man, four wives, more kids).<\/p>\n

And I\u2019ve read Love Times Three: Our True Story of a Polygamous Marriage<\/em> (one man, three wives, 23 living children), by Joe, Alina, Vicki and Valerie Darger.<\/p>\n

And I can\u2019t help concluding that polygyny \u2013 as practiced in fiction and in fact by these three families \u2013 is neither barbaric nor weird.<\/p>\n

Love Times Three<\/em> is a great read. All kinds of juicy details about how two of the Darger wives courted and married their husband at the same time. How the sister of one wife \u2013 her twin! \u2013 joined the marriage later on. How \u201cdate nights\u201d are managed. And how this huge family manages to live together under one roof (11 computers, 5 bathrooms, 10 cars).<\/p>\n

Journalist and co-author Brooke Adams did a fine job of winning this family\u2019s trust, asking the tough questions, and providing background on a polygamous culture that is more prevalent \u2013 and dare I say more viable \u2013 than most Americans would like to believe.<\/p>\n

Love Times Three: Our True Story of a Polygamous Marriage<\/em><\/p>\n

Joe, Alina, Vicki, and Valerie Darger<\/p>\n

With Brooke Adams<\/p>\n

2011 HarperOne $26.99 Hardcover<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

If you enjoyed this post, consider getting my regular updates with an email subscription. Just fill in the box at the top of the right-hand column. You can also get updates via Facebook , Twitter or RSS by clicking on the appropriate icon at the top of the right-hand column.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Read about my encounter<\/a> with the Darger family. More on marriage here at my house at “Widowed: We Were Two People and a Marriage.”<\/a> Also, “The We-Ness of Marriage.”<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\"Love<\/a><\/p>\n

Is polygamy normal? If gays can get their marriages legalized, what’s to keep all those polygamists from seeking legalization of their status as well? Read more<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":5716,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[70,50],"tags":[34,611,612,613,614,587],"class_list":["post-5724","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-book-openers","category-on-writing-reading","tag-dont-miss","tag-gay-marriage","tag-joe-darger","tag-love-times-three","tag-mormon","tag-polygamy"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5724","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5724"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5724\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5724"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5724"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/server.stagingweb3.net\/barbarafalconernewhall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5724"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}