Widowed: He Knew How to Show a Girl a Good Time

he knew how to show a girl a good time jon-and-barbara-newhall
He knew how to show a girl a good time: in 2017 Jon swept me off — to St. Joseph, Missouri, for the solar eclipse. Barbara Newhall photo

My eclipse story is seven years old. It happened in St. Joseph, Missouri, directly on the path of totality for the solar eclipse of 2017. I was in the right place at the right time for that eclipse because my husband, Jon Newhall, knew how to show a girl a good time.

When Jon and I were out on the town — dinner at a white table cloth restaurant, a night at the San Francisco Opera, a baseball game at the frigid Candlestick Park — he’d sometimes turn to me mid-evening and ask, “Am I showing you a good time?”

he knew how to show a girl a good time NASA-map-eclipse-2017-missouri
In the right place at the right time in 2017 — Jon decided that St. Joseph, just north of Kansas City, was the place he’d take me for the total solar eclipse. He bought the plane tickets, found us a hotel and made sure we had eclipse viewing glasses. NASA map

The wry smile that accompanied the question implied that Jon was kidding, that he was making an ironic reference to our 1950s teenage years, when a boy took a girl out on a date and “showed her a good time.” If it was a movie, he’d buy her popcorn. If it was the prom, he’d wash the family car and drive it to her door wearing Old Spice.

He Knew How to Show a Girl a Good Time

Jon didn’t need to ask if I was having a good time. He knew I was enjoying whatever he’d made happen that evening — the rack of lamb, the Mozart, the Giants.

Still, I don’t think he was kidding when he asked, “Am I showing you a good time?” He was letting me know, in his shy way, that he was having a good time.

On My Own This Time Around

I was on my own on Monday when the partial eclipse made its way across the San Francisco Bay Area sky — and the total eclipse made its way from Texas to parts  northeast.

I didn’t have solar eclipse glasses, so I contented myself with photographing the eerie, crescent-shaped shadows falling on my deck.

he knew how to show a girl a good time -- crescent shaped eclipse shadows
The partially eclipsed sunlight shone through the spaces between the leaves of a nearby tree and fell on my deck in crescent shapes. The spaces functioned as pinhole cameras. Photo by Barbara Newhall

The couple next door, meanwhile, were out on their deck, chatting and looking up at the sun. They had each other. They also had the right glasses.

I didn’t.

If Jon were here, I thought, I’d have my own pair of ISO glasses right now. I’d be looking straight at the sun. Jon would have seen to that.

What am I saying? If Jon were here, I’d be in Texas.

More about the — rainy — 2017 totality at “A Totality Disappointment in St. Joseph, Missouri.”  What to do and feel now that we’re getting older and older? Read “Religion Scholar Huston Smith at 93 — ‘Be Happy!'”

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The partially eclipsed sun threw a bizarrely bright yet partially dimmed light on my California backyard on Monday morning. Photo by Barbara Newhall
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  1. What a lovely memory to have if your husband making so many efforts to give you a good time he obviously adored YOU! Thank you for sharing this tender memory. Joy S.

    1. Thank you. Maybe you remember that expression — “show her a good time.” I don’t hear it much any more. That old male gallantry has faded now that we women are insisting on more agency for ourselves. But maybe that way of thinking — show someone a good time — is something all of us could consider from time to time.

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